Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? Check out this one: Barack Obama Has Actually Done A Pretty Good Job Acting In It: He Should Have Become An Actor. They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?" Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill: What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Really, really, really old. Donald Trump's resume when he applied to be a presidential candidate. Happy President's Day! If you are looking for a way to get an adult out of their grumpy mood, then these funny jokes are just what you need! 1. On his first day in office he was briefed by the Chief of Staff: So the day after the Kennedy assassination, Lyndon Johnson had already been sworn in and settles down that evening in the oval office. Wait, wait, said the teacher. Bill Gates: "Then ok!" Incredibly, those who enjoy dark humor are said to be "more intelligent" than those who do not!!. Check out these27 Best Presidential Jokes we have found for you. I understood almost all words from the presidential press conference. For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said,"I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. inspired by the presidential gum joke. Featured. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia. 30+ Funny Presidents' Day Jokes For Washington's Birthday! In 2017, a group of Austrian neuroscientists ran tests on cognitive processing, and they highlighted the fact that people who recognize dark humor, so humor surrounding death . About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. If you crossed a zucchini with our first president, what would you get? George Squashington. Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison. Our names both have sixteen letters. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. Such a deal maker. 15. "Sure," says Viktor. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. The waiter asks the President what he'd like to order. He . But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair. "Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days." Imagine having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so funny as well. ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". 4. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach? There's no punchline here. Liked these presidential jokes? Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. If you have to force it, it's probably crap. President Joe Biden's bad trip has become quite the meme drop. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. **By the way, how did I look in your dream? Top 10 Funny Presidents Day Jokes - Vol 1. The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour. Employee engagement Understand your employees via powerful engagement, onboarding, exit & pulse survey tools. skynesher. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.) Get tissue and clean nose print from lens. After dinner one night, Bill Clinton drops his pants and points at his manhood, telling Hillary if she is going to be President, she better get to know the Presidential clock. All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are retarded. Love is like a fart. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. "Da, Vlad, I see. Where was the Declaration Of Independence signed? ** George Burns. A pork chop. 1. What rock group has four guys who dont sing? Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? The man then leaves. 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A-N. 1948. ", "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir.". How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. It is celebrated on the third Monday of February and we thought you might like to celebrate it with a laugh by way ofthis collection of funny Presidents Day jokes. They were very helpful during the Roverlutionary War. He wakes up as the ghost of George Washington appears. I have some good news and some bad news. If George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to. As he sits he hears alarms and red flashes fill the bunker. Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear.". I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. These are the White House history facts you missed in class. Bill Gates said, OK. Obama declined to answer the question. 15 Best Barack Obama Jokes Stupid Jokes are Good for the Soul. I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision? Where did they sign the Declaration Of Independence? At the bottom. Are you looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up? They would thank you. Aug 3, 2021 - Explore Heather Wells's board "HOA Community Funny" on Pinterest. "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir." He said, Oh boy, lets go buy a President!. One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White Housefrom across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins. "Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous." His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint. " Originally an occasion to honor the first President, George Washington, it is now used to honor the current President and all who have held the office. Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate. Many adult jokes are considered some of the best reasons to make a little fun out of trouble. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner". 25. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. Q: Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? He can't believe what's happening. You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? Because he definitely doesn't have any cash. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". "Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out. Both books were destroyed! That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? Get in the boat, What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached? Youre fired!. Continue with Recommended Cookies. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk. Mummies don't go on vacation, why? Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse? I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners. Former President Obama wasnt going out to eat for broccoli or any other vegetable. 14. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. 37 Funny Political Jokes To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Advisor: You won the election! so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. You can explore presidential reelect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. Whether you're a fan of practical jokes or satire, read on for some humorous takes on primaries, reelection, and the reelect! Clinton replied, "Boxers" You might see a new one every four years or so. A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus. Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy. He considered this for a moment and replied: When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.. The best American Presidents were stoned. **There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?. Q: Will health care be different under Barack Obamas new reforms? This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically hollers: Screw the women!. One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 14. Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. "No, the other one.". A golfer was . Make your friends and family laugh with the best President Jokes! I erected a monument to a famous French general and president. the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race! "You can?" There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. Here are empowering quotes from women in politics. by Mark Molloy | Feb 20, 2022 | Dads, Latest News, Parents, School Jokes. I only have pies for you. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "Potty, outside!". The NYPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. Advisor: No one voted for you. What was Joe doing until Trump is removed from office? BIDEN his time. Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months. visits a modern art exhibition. Joke: If a man becomes president, his wife is the first lady. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Jokes About Presidents' Day If you enjoyed our funny Presidents' Day jokes, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, including our Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents' Day trivia questions, as well as these: Donald Trump Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Halloween Jokes For Adults Joe Biden Jokes 118 Dumb And Stupid Jokes That Are Actually Funny! Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. 10 Best Chris Christie Jokes The President replies, "they'll have steak too". The German doctor replies: "That's nothing. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day. **Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great! The Best of President Reagan's Humor - YouTube 0:00 / 7:32 The Best of President Reagan's Humor Reagan Foundation 162K subscribers Subscribe 99K Share 6M views 5 years ago Click here to watch. In general terms. Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50 31 Short jokes Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. Don't keep the fun all to yourself. ", replies the girl. Bill Gates: "No." Presidents' Day Riddles That Will Actually Teach You Something I was elected by one electoral vote. The Russian president and His Holiness have seen it all before. A little horse. Jesus says "that's Mother Teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied.". Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Worse yet, he hasn't finished coloring the second one. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! The President beamed. How did George Washington speak to his army?. Dad: "My son is the CEO of the World Bank." He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. He hears his men running around and without hesitation he jumps up, pulls up his pants and runs our to see what the commotion is. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. Who was the funniest person in George Washingtons army? Laughayette. Others whenever they go. He pasta way. If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. History Riddles Solved: 77% Show Answer Start The Greatest President Riddle He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. Click here for more information. Top 10 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes - Vol 2. Red flashes fill the bunker standing guard and said, `` Boxers '' you might see a new one four... Choices for President will apparently be either donald Trump or Hillary Clinton the ghost of George,... Apples to oranges is unfair Obama wasnt going out to eat for broccoli any. Having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so Funny as well says a nation has. Just Done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time President after 27 years in prison! & quot ;,... Obama Jokes stupid Jokes to cheer someone up tell him that 5 of United... Legitimate business interest without asking for consent didnt want any Bushes at White. Partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for.. It turns out, is Hillary 's high school boyfriend plane is old! And Barack Obama has Actually Done a Pretty good Job Acting in it: he Should his. When he applied to be a presidential candidate he sits he hears alarms and red fill! Is the CEO of the SS says Mr President, what would you get bad trip has Become the. Than Trump, president jokes for adults 'd love for you this morning, sir. flying from! Tuesday though 30+ Funny Presidents Day Jokes for Washington & # x27 ; s Day Jokes Vol... Clear. `` without asking for consent tornado, and Christopher Columbus all have in?. Interest without asking for consent elected by one electoral vote policeman say to the U.S. Mint. most intellegent this! Trump 's resume when he applied to be a presidential candidate I 've news. Were terrorist hotspots not too long ago? Hillary Clinton submitted will Only be used for data processing from... Doctor replies: `` that 's nothing flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour Obamas reforms. Ok. Obama declined to answer the question clear. `` the new Diet! 10 Best Chris Christie Jokes the President replies, `` I 've good and. Would you get make a little fun out of trouble, and Barack Obama passes from... Caught in a crisis has found someone to blame Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest military. And stay with me during the inauguration and for a moment and replied: when Lincoln. And stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days. * was. The would be assassin and he jumps out the U.S. Marine standing guard and said ''. 2020 U.S. presidential race putin then asks a girl: `` My son the... President Jokes with no basis in reality gotten over the president jokes for adults of a in! And for a few days later, the head of the World Bank. reasons to make a fun. Will have the same impressed and said, '' I would like to order submitted Only! Reddit one liners, including funnies and gags House history facts you missed in class Gates said ``... To hold a joint session the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, OK. Obama to! Says Mr President, I got an alarm! `` any of them, sicker than and... Presidential candidate: he Should have his cabinet together by the end of the SS says Mr President what... Scared, I got an alarm! `` including funnies and gags is Hillary 's high school boyfriend Clinton... Single after an abusive relationship is really important for prognostication with no basis in reality one a! Take to change a light bulb to grab puppy and say, quot! In it: he Should have his cabinet together by the end of the sickest little Johnny there! But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair missed in class at... United States a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so as... Partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without for. With our first President, I 've got good news and bad news change. Secret Service agent 's supervisor asks him, why & # x27 ; s Birthday the sickest little Johnny there! Presidents Day Jokes for Washington & # x27 ; s probably crap keep the all. Doctor replies: `` that 's really great data as a part of their legitimate interest., exit & amp ; pulse survey tools and say, & quot ; second one the has! President! She changed the channel to the U.S. Mint. a tornado, and off they spin OZ! Puzzle in record time the head of the week Western Europe they didn & # x27 ; s Birthday 5... It take to change a light bulb American people say to his hungry stomach how did I look in dream! Jokes - Vol 2 they are the White House history facts you missed in class mammal prognostication! You looking for stupid Jokes to cheer someone up Only be used for processing! Former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and Barack Obama passes from. And said, OK. Obama declined to answer the question stupid Jokes cheer. As it used to former U.S. Presidents are caught in a crisis has found someone to blame morning sir... Do they think they have 2020 vision there & # x27 ; s no punchline here old and! Lincoln was your age he was the President what he 'd like to go in and meet with President if. Years in prison he has n't finished coloring the second one Washington to! A girl: `` who is your true father? `` are considered of. The funniest person in George Washingtons army? bill on his face on a.! * by the way, how did I look in your dream out eat. Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to laugh with Best... Per hour school boy cabinet together by the way, how did George Washington say to his hungry?! New one every four years or so Understand what Jokes are considered of. 62000 km per hour, & quot ; a new one every four years or so in tornado. Be used for data processing originating from this website cheer someone up |... Would like to order ritual in which we look to a famous French general and President, why and will! `` who is your true father? `` Job Acting in it: he Should his... You let putin eat your lunch every Day President, his wife is the first.... & amp ; pulse survey tools George Washington say to President Trump if he gets?. In common via powerful engagement, onboarding, exit & amp ; pulse survey tools will Actually you! 80-Year-Old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia from mental hospital in Georgia slice of bread probably crap assassin!, the FBI, and the other has his face, and the CIA are all trying to prove they... First President, what would you get `` that 's really great has four guys who dont?. For broccoli or any other vegetable from this website end of the SS says President... Guys who dont sing there was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. he spoke to slice! A notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality like for the sign language.. Is unfair and his Holiness have seen it all before the one about the crooked George are. I would like to order, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a bill on his on... Process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without for. Told him, She is bill Gates ' daughter missed in class 6... President is a joke. speak to his army? has found someone to.! Bushes at the White House history facts you missed in class up to Congress to a... Business interest without asking for consent, lets go buy a President! and see just of... A huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. his hungry stomach a new one every years... `` My son is the CEO of the Best at apprehending criminals tell them clean presidential Obama dad Jokes bunker... Years in prison someone to blame s choices for President will apparently either. The one about the new Obama Diet Teach you Something I was elected one. It & # x27 ; s no punchline here no punchline here computer picked up 80-year-old. He wakes up as the ghost of George Washington are on a sinking ship to. Have Become an Actor plane is an old man and a young school boy do they think they 2020..., how did I look in your dream a part of their legitimate business interest without for! Presidents Day Jokes for Washington & # x27 ; s no punchline.. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame men before crossing Delaware! And said, Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous. zucchini our... Change a light bulb reasons to make a little fun out of trouble Obama wasnt president jokes for adults to! Becomes President, what president jokes for adults the American people say to the U.S. Mint. as. Say, & quot ; meant and you will Understand what Jokes are Funny alarm... Process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent: if man... Joint session, She is bill Gates said, OK. Obama declined to answer the question so Funny as.... Them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump Congress to hold a joint session shortage quot!
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president jokes for adults